De-centering & Re-centering for Self Care

Episode 12: Coming back home to your joyful self:
Our lovely Barbados artist and graduate from Intuition Painting® Facilitator Training Gina Foster walks us through her reconnection to her whole self during the EAT.PAINT.LOVE! Italy Retreat

Transcript

Montine Blank:
Hi everyone. It’s Montine Blank with Intuition Painting. Today for Soulful Stories, we have Gina Foster, who’s calling in from Barbados. Gina attended our Fall 2023 retreat in Italy — Eat Paint Love — and we had a wonderful group, didn’t we?

Gina Foster:
Very, very. It was lovely.

Montine:
Tell us a little bit about yourself and what led you to go on that retreat.

Gina:
I hadn’t had a holiday in about four years because of the pandemic, which turned everyone’s life upside down. It definitely threw me into a constant go-go-go mode. When I finally had time to look for a retreat, I was searching for my three favorite things: yoga, meditation, and art. I’m an artist, and your Eat Paint Love retreat came up.

At first I thought, “Oh my gosh, I have to go all the way to Italy,” but I decided to book it very spontaneously. I was thrilled — it was exactly what I needed at that time.

Montine:
That’s wonderful. When you first saw Intuition Painting, did you get a sense that it was a little different?

Gina:
Yes. I’ve always been an artist, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve wanted to use my gift to help others. I’d looked into art therapy before, so when I saw intuitive art, it really intrigued me. I knew it would be different, but I felt it was something that might really work for me.

Montine:
When you arrived, you’d been through some stressful times, right?

Gina:
Absolutely. I remember arriving and falling over with my suitcase because I was so exhausted. It perfectly represented how I felt at the time.

Montine:
And you owned that exhaustion, which allowed us to make space for it. Do you remember when you realized Intuition Painting was different from what you’d experienced before?

Gina:
Yes. I’m usually a talker and a sharer, so not commenting on other people’s paintings was hard at first. You emphasized that it was about your own internal experience — not judging or interpreting others.

That space allowed me to quiet my mind. I hadn’t painted in over a year, and just feeling the paint and letting whatever came up emerge was incredibly freeing. Unlike therapy exercises where you follow instructions, this was about trusting whatever arose.

Montine:
We create that rule — no comments on paintings — to protect that private, intimate experience. Once comments come in, it can shift someone’s relationship with their own work in a way that can’t be undone.

Gina:
Exactly. I noticed how much I wanted to control things — balance, color, how it “should” look. Letting go of that was huge. I painted very abstractly because it didn’t have to be anything. I remember you saying, “If you want to paint a hamburger, paint a hamburger.” That stuck with me.

Montine:
That’s part of returning to painting like a child — before self-consciousness and fear take over. When you let go of control, something begins to paint through you, for you.

Gina:
As an artist, there’s often pressure to perform. Here, I didn’t feel that at all. I didn’t have to be good or impressive. That was such a relief.

Montine:
As the week went on, deeper blocks began to surface. What came up for you?

Gina:
My throat. I realized how much of my life had been about helping, fixing, solving problems, and performing. I didn’t have to do any of that there. I could just be quiet and take care of myself — something I desperately needed.

Montine:
I also remember you recognizing two parts of yourself in your painting.

Gina:
Yes. One side felt heavy, congested, and tied to my past. The other felt free, expressive, and alive. It was like reconnecting with a part of myself I’d lost along the way.

Montine:
Those two parts eventually found balance.

Gina:
They did. I was at a crossroads, and I didn’t need answers — just permission not to know. That alone brought peace.

Montine:
You’d also experienced a lot of loss.

Gina:
Yes. I lost my sister, my dad, my cat. I nearly lost my business and had to move homes. It was all compounded grief. The retreat gave me space to stop resisting and just be with what was.

Montine:
And you also reconnected with joy — the food, the space, nature, community.

Gina:
Absolutely. The food was incredible — an art in itself. I loved having my own space, the pool, walking in nature, the town visits. Everything was beautifully balanced.

Montine:
When the week ended, where did you land?

Gina:
I felt rested and more capable of facing what was ahead. I felt more positive about the future. That’s when I decided to join the facilitator training — it was spontaneous, but it felt right.

Montine:
Do you remember the message from your painting at the end?

Gina:
It was about taking care of myself and trusting myself. About coming back to my own passion and fire, instead of always being in service to others. If I didn’t, the exhaustion wouldn’t go away.

Montine:
Exactly. And that’s the heart of this work.

Gina:
Yes. I’ve learned that caring for myself isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. And that message continues to guide me.

Montine:
Thank you, Gina. It’s been wonderful talking with you.

Gina:
Thank you so much.